Love

Sacrifice is something amazing. Depending on what it is, but what if you sacrificed your emotions.

If you felt like you were doing all the work? Then what.

The answer is simple right..but what if it's more complex.

love. damn that word right?

"Love don't live here"

"Love don't exist"

Im sure you've heard it all. I even find myself questioning that four letter word.

It seems harmless enough right. I don't question the word no of course not.

Maybe the feeling. nah.. im sure I know when Im in love.

But how can one person fall in love before the other.

I mean it COULD happen, but how?

Is one perhaps more infatuated with the other, then it leads to something more complex.

Does love truly happen at "first sight" 

Or is it lust as so many people are quick to answer.

Mmm. Love is tricky.

But only if you make it.

I mean if you acknowledge those feelings right away, and go with her gut.

instinct.

intuition.

all that jazz..

then you should be able to determine whether or not your in love.

But if you have to question it then does that mean your really not?

Just something to think about...

Habits.

On and On

Over and Over

Breathing. Crying. Laughing. Smiling.

1 mth.

4 wks.

Not Consecutively though.

Feeling but no contact.

Listening but not hearing

Smiling through the pain.

wanting to do the right thing.

correct.

"Your Right"

Just words.

Distance.

20 hrs.

thousands of miles.

its hard.

difficult.

frustrating.

confusing.

irritating.

lonely.

MusiQ

Say it..

I need..

you

to just

say it.

I want you to tell me

Don't sugar coat it give it to me..

raw.

brutal.

honest.

Flaws.

Imperfections.

Late nights..

lonely..

yet attached.

Tears flowing

Heart aching

Body yearning..

yearning for...

a simple touch

your smile.

feeling you through

melodies. beats. breaks. 

tones. bridges. verses.

Im..

"going crazy"

I need to

" See you again.."

because that's the only time i ..

truly feel..

"ALIVE"

I feel like im gonna 

"LOSE CONTROL"

I need you to 

"STAY"

Say it.

Please.

I just need you to 

Say.

It.

I HATE you.

I HATE you..

For...

Making me laugh. Making me smile.

Making think all this shit was even worthwhile.

Giving me false hope, playing with my emotions.

Falling into this trick

A mirage perhaps?

I just want to leave and never look back

I don't wanna over react but it's already been done..

Im frustrated because..

This is something I can't control.

This is something that's out of my hands..

The tears. You don't see.

The smile.. stationary.

The anger.. you don't feel.

The music i have to feel you through...

the fact that we're trying to get closer but steadily growing apart.

Am I trippin.. oh i haven't even started.

I want to understand

I want to be the best.

I want to not even fit with the rest.

I wanna scream. Laugh. Cry. Yell. 

Uncontrollable.

It hurts, but why?

Trust.. hmmm..

If you don't have trust you don't have nothing..

If you don't have time.. then how can you even call this a relationship.

Im not attacking. Im not giving up.

Im just frustrated. You don't understand.

We're opposites. 

Attracted.

Blog

So.. I am liking this whole blogging thing. It's easier to just write on the cpu because I'm on here more vs trying to write thoughts out the old fashion way. So right now Im frustrated beyond words.. but in order for me to actually do an entry I have to try and put how I feel into words..

So there's this situation I'm going through right now and Im trying to get a grip over on it. Im trying to be understanding and to realize that not everybody has been raised like me. But I'm not going to lie it's so hard. It's hard because you don't know what the right thing is to do. It's hard for all these various reasons and it's much easier to just be frustrated and to cut that person out.. but I can't..I mean I don't feel like taking the easy way out is the right thing to do. Someone told me that it's hard transition especially if someone is the total opposite. I mean honestly I feel like someone who is exactly like me would kind of be irritating.. not to say that irritate myself.. I mean well..whatever.. but anyway Im just sort of stuck right now.. I mean I just I know what I want and I know that good things come to those who wait.

This entry actually isn't even going the way I want it to go, I have so many thoughts and Im feeling so many things that I still can't seem to put them into words. For them to be clear, because right now everything is foggy and it's not making sense.. but I mean.. ughh.. i dunno..

It is what it is for right now, and whatever is suppose to happen will and if I can keep that in mind I think that things will get better. Repeating yourself isn't going to change anything, but then again closed mouths don't get fed so..

Argue.

Eating but not tasting

Drinking but not quenching

Liking but not loving

Forgiving but not forgetting

Living but not learning

Im....

Learning as I live..

slowly, with intent. careful.

Hidden. needing to be seen.

Crying but not healing.

Writing but it's not making sense.

To who?

Random.. yet still deep thoughts..

Yearning but it not being fulfilled..

negative.. no positive..

smiling. because it shows hope.

Words fall into place..

securing a thought.

An idea..

Forgiveness is ..

hard.

easy.

forgiveness just is.

Confusing.

thoughtful.

careful.

Half full.

Half empty.

passive/ aggressive.

Life is beautiful, yet random

Life has meaning if you look for it

Every situation has good in it no matter how bad.

Love is for everyone, you just have to be patient.

Forgiveness shows maturity, to forget takes time.

Nobody is perfect.

beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

The eye is the window of the soul.

The soul just is...

RoqBottom

So I've decided to try out this whole blogging thing. I mean who knows I might like it.

So today was pretty boring nothing too fun. I've had a lot of things going on in this place we call my brain. I don't even know where to begin. Lets first start off with OBAMA! So I know it's old but still, dude we got a BLACK PRESIDENT. I don't care what anyone else says this is going to be amazing.

So Im pretty random, if anyone is reading this, and my thoughts will more than likely just not flow very good but whatever. Anywho, I think it's kind of interesting how you can always help someone else but when it comes to your own personal situations it's always harder. I've helped two people this week and when it comes to my own I really just don't seem to have a solid grip on it and it gets on my nerves. It's not that I don't want to move forward but everytime I try to not let something happen I do just that. It's not even wrong Im just sick of being in this same predicament over and over again. I always feel like I give more than in certain situations and even if I express them I still don't think it matters. 

You know when you were a kid I'm sure we've always had a story we remember where the princess finds her prince and they live happily ever after? Well I think it's just that a BS fairy tale. I don't mean to be bitter not at all, but I just think that they sold us this dream about how perfect things are going to be and in the end it's not even like that at all. It's always something and maybe it's because of the choices that you made or the mistakes who knows? But nothing is perfect, and yeah their may really be a prince charming but it's not going to be perfect with him neither you know. You're going to have your problems and you may work through them or you may not it just all depends.. honestly..